Crazy Climate Change and the Pleasure of Protesting

Save the planet from the comfort of your home!

On that note, I want to explain to you why it’s absolutely vital for our survival as a species that we, the university students of today, skip class.

Why do I only address university students? Because let’s face it—what difference does it make if we skip class at school? So it’s absolutely up to us, then, the undergraduate and graduate students of today, to save the future. And you can be sure we don’t wear capes. No, we wear backpacks (most of us), and we are the new-age heroes. It’s time to take back power and put young people in charge to prevent climate change. This school strike is but a step in this direction. But if we want this revolution, this glorious revolution, to succeed, we must start with the facts.

Did you know that 25,000 species stand in danger of extinction? Did you know that 100% of the Amazon is rainforest? And that that 100% is now in grave danger? The flora and fauna of our world, including the succulents on my windowsill, are in danger because of climate change. If our biodiversity dies, what will we go on safaris to see? What will be the point of all the selfies we take at zoos? The ecosystem is fragile. When nature disappears, wildlife photographers will disappear with them. Ask yourself: do you want that?

My university’s Marxist Society has generously offered their expertise in organising the university strike, and I urge you to approach the Marxist Societies at your universities too, or if none exist, to create one, so that the strike goes ahead as planned, and we may save the planet from our own actions as a horrible and selfish species, which has historically functioned on the labour of the proletariat and refuses to break the chains of class struggle by seizing the means of production, which is and always has been in the hands of the capitalists, the scourge of this race and of this world.

Leave those lecture halls empty. Have your underpaid tutors wait pointlessly an hour, so that they too can realise the importance of this movement. And don’t just stop there; gather in the streets to protest. Come with signs made on cardboard and paper, so that people know that we won’t let the sacrifices of cut-down trees go to waste. As much as you want to skip class and watch Indian Matchmaking, come out and protest, and make sure to get lots of snaps for the gram, obviously.

Hereafter, we must fight. We must strike to save our world.

Britta Sunburnt
Britta Sunburnt is a figment of our imagination.